獷男地球村隨筆

A Kent librarian wants an exorcist called in to sort out a haunted lavatory.

（英國）肯特郡一名圖書館員想請驅魔大師解決一間廁所鬧鬼的問題。

Gordon Jenns, 61, who has worked at Gravesend library for 14 years, says the ghost flushes the toilet when he thinks everyone's gone home.

61歲的戈登˙詹斯已經在格雷夫森德圖書館任職14年，他表示，在他以為所有人都已回家之際，有鬼魂替馬桶沖水。

"It's happened three times in the past 11 years, always around seven o'clock on a Friday," he told the Bexley Times.

「這種情況過去11年間出現3次，總是週五約7點時發生」，他告訴伯克斯里時報說。

"It's very off-putting. The first time it happened I thought someone had broken in the back door so I went with something very heavy in my hand to give them a warm welcome.

「這令人不勝其煩。第一次發生時，我以為是有人從後門闖入，因此我手持重物，準備給他們一個熱烈的歡迎。」

"I'm absolutely certain the toilet flushed itself. The door was locked and the cistern was still filling up when I went in.

「我絕對確定是馬桶自己沖水，門有上鎖，而且當我進去裡面時，水箱還在加水中。」

"I'm an ex-marine and not prone to hallucinations. I'm guessing the poor fellow only wants to relieve himself."

「我是前陸戰隊員，不容易出現幻覺。我猜想，那個可憐的傢伙只是想上廁所。」

新聞辭典 Dictionary

haunted：鬧鬼的，為haunt的過去分詞。例句：The old castle is said to be haunted. （那座古堡據說鬧鬼。）

exorcist：名詞，驅除惡魔的法師。經典恐怖電影「大法師」英文片名即為The Exorcist。

off-putting ： 令人厭惡的。例句：Her sleazy gossip was very off-putting. （她那低級的閒話令人倒胃口。）

prone to：有…傾向的、易於…的，例句︰She is prone to headaches.（她常常頭痛。）

relieve oneself： 原意是「放鬆自己」，俚語中則是「上廁所」的委婉說法。其他同義的婉稱還有go to the men's(ladie's)room／restroom／washroom 或wash one’s hands等等。